will the life lessons ever stop coming?

back from the cold north where we had our worker's gathering in hamar where all ywam norway workers meet together twice a year. it's always good to be inspired, catch more of ywam's vision, but it's so difficult being around all those people, especially since i just flew in the night before. i feel like such an unfriendly person at these conferences because there are just so many people around. but it was quite good nonetheless. one of the speakers talked of how christians are known for these 3 things:
we don't have goals
we don't persevere
we wait to long to take action
God has been speaking to me about this since before i left for christmas break. the past semester has hit me in the face and i've been sifting through what has actually happened these past 5 months. i believe God has worked through and in me, but i so often feel that i am just existing here, doing things that are done for the sake of just getting them done. i wonder how much of what i've done affects the kingdom. i see that most of my time is not spent using my gifts and abilities. i've been reminded of the parable where the king gives the servants different amounts of money and 2 of the servants invested their money wisely and saw a profit. the last servant got scared when given the money and just buried it. i think i've taken some of the gifts God has given me and i've been scared and i've buried them. it's a danger when God entrusts different abilites to us and we don't use them to His glory. there is a danger of God taking those gifts and entrusting them to someone else who will. i see areas where fear has pushed me not to have a plan, to give up when it gets too difficult, and in turn i wait too long to take action. i'm so glad God continues to speak even when it takes me so long to get it. all that to say, i want to have more vision in my ministry, i want to be a person who is known for persevering, a person of action. i want to see change in myself and in those around me. i want my passion for God, my passion for missions and people to grow. i want to be disciplined in using and growing in the gifts God has placed in me. He gives us gifts because He wants to be glorified because of what we're doing in His name. when it's put in that perspective, fear isn't even an option.

enough for now. i'm off to bed, knowing i don't have to work tomorrow, that i can watch season 2 of "Felicity," and i get to go ice skating saturday! woohoo! God bless our neighbor Enge who doesn't have a password for his network connections and unknowingly blesses us with wireless internet from home.