buns away

just have to share about my last week. i co-led a team to seljord, a small town about 2 hours away from skien last week. i was so nervous and worried before we left, so scatterbrained that i left my phone at home. but man, the week was so good! just a couple of funny stories...

we worked with a pentecostal church and although many of our team was use to that, some things were done a bit... differently. one night we went to different cell groups and later that night met up to share about our experiences. one man in a cell group kept shouting, "the blood, the blood, the blooood!!!" over and over again and the students had such a hard time not laughing. maybe we shouldn't have laughed, but it was quite funny at the time.

one of our tasks was to have an open house at the Jesus House, a house that the church owned and the place we were living. we decided to watch a movie, play games, have a jam session, and have a room where we could just discuss God and spirituality. we went out that afternoon and handed out flyers and had invited students the days before. i spent several hours making bolle (buns) with chocolate inside - i made over 100. at 20.00 we opened the doors for the students and waited... and waited... and waited for people to show up. 3 hours and 1 person showed up. do you know how many buns are sitting in the freezer now? we had quite a laugh on that one as well.

one last story... it was thanksgiving and although it's not my favorite holiday, i love being home at this time of the year. plus, all my friends and cousins are having babies and it would be nice to see them. anyway, i shared with my team that it was thanksgiving on thursday (and for those of you who might be a bit behind on things, thanksgiving is not celebrated in anywhere else but the states) and that we usually eat turkey and pumpkin pie and watch american football in the afternoon (or a nice ncaa basketball game, in my case). i didn't have time to call my family (plus, i forgot my cell phone) and didn't have access to email that day, but didn't think about it too much. that night we went to eat with a woman from the church and what did we have? a turkey dish and pickled pumkin! i felt so blessed to have my own version of thanksgiving in norway. and the great girls on my team also bought me a turkey sausage. =)

confessions of a represser

i always wonder what to write, especially knowing that this blog is read by so many different people. "how much should i share?" "how personal should i be?" i always wonder what people think when reading other's blogs.
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it's been a crazy week. God is teaching me so many things. before i begin though, i must recommend "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. i am re-reading it now. i read it earlier in the summer and loved it so much that i read it as fast as possible. but now i'm reading it again so i can catch everything. it's about regaining femininity - what it means to be a woman, how to express yourself as a woman, how to be treated as a woman. it deals much with the heart, overcoming your past. gosh, it's good. all this to say... God has been healing my heart in different areas and showing me many areas where i still don't give Him total control - areas where fear still rules my decisions. it's a bit scary actually, seeing the decisions i make (or don't make) because fear is so big.
i was talking to my roommate the other day. people tell me "lyndee, you're so strong. you're able to handle so much." sometimes i just want to stick my tongue out at the people who say that. i really don't feel so strong. i've also seen that when people have said that to me, i've allowed myself to think that because people think i'm strong, i'm not allowed to show my weaknesses. i've also let it teach me that i just need to move on from the hurts in my life. that's correct in some sense, but in another, those hurts need to be dealt with before moving on. anyway, i was telling my roommate that sometimes i think that if i cry, it means that i'm dealing with situation. but in reality, i believe that the tears are just the surface of pain. dealing with hurts means that i have to take time and think, feel, process, even talk through things - with God, people, myself. so much to learn! i really want to learn to be honest with myself, with God - learn to share everything i'm feeling.
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on to another topic... after being here (illegally) for almost 3 months, i now have my visa! finally. and a great unexpected bonus - it's a 2 year visa! i was told i could only apply for 1 year at a time, but i threw caution to the wind and applied for 2 years and received it! i saved 800 kroner ($120) by doing that.
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i spoke this weekend at a youth night. i was suppose to share in 3 minutes an instance where i experienced the goodness of Jesus. i know Jesus has been good to me, but to have 3 minutes... that's hard (for me). i was so frustrated as we got to the meeting, think i was also frustrating those with me, because nothing was coming to me. every time i have spoken, God has always given me the words to say. i don't know why i get so stressed. once again, He gave me the words. trust lyndee, trust.
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so there it is... my life in 4 paragraphs.

pride goes before the fall

yeah, yeah, yeah, sara. here's a new blog: =)
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so, i'm living in norway and that means i need to get in touch with my adventuresome, outdoorsy self. as you all know, my adventuresome, outdoorsy self enjoys sitting (outside) a starbucks at the summit in louisville or if i'm feeling really crazy, even walking down my driveway in kansas to the mailbox.
okay, it's not that bad. i enjoy being outdoors, but i've become much more an inside, slightly boring person as of late, so i decided to leave it all behind and be one with the nature in norway.

if you also know me, you know that i am an extremely stubborn person and tend to want to prove myself. this is the situation i found myself in as i was walking up a mountain at 7 in the evening last friday. i have been "mountain" climbing once in my life and seeing that i'm surrounded by mountains, i willingly went with two friends (males - yikes!) who are also quite stubborn in will. my goal - to not slow them down (may i mention that it had rained the day before, it was dark outside, and we were only going to use the light of the moon while walking?) and not make a complete fool of myself in the process. that lasted all of 45 minutes. i hate to make mistakes, especially in front of others, but as i fell 7 times going UP the mountain, there was no choice but to laugh. i fell less going down the mountain though, i might add. it took us a little less than 5 hours to complete our trek and i have to say that i have never felt so old in my entire life. my knees screamed at me, my butt was sore from falling so many times, and my back hurt. we've all heard the old adage, "grow old gracefully..." well, that's out the door for me.

but, i did it. and i didn't even break anything.

the most beautiful word in the norwegian language

i really hate that word, pooped, but i couldn't think of any other word to describe how i feel. i am pooped. what an exhausting week in every sense of the word. it's 9 o'clock now and today i have been (surprise upon surprise) in the kitchen most of the day - doing dishes. i also had Bible study and i hate that sinking feeling that more often than not arrives in my stomach after i've taught, causing me to evaluate everything that came out of my mouth. anyway, it's over with, hallelujah. monday we have a lovefeast for the students so another staff, thomas, and i walked around town asking asian restaurants if they wanted to donate anything for our asian themed party. in the process, i found a pretty cheap restaurant ($14 a meal) and shared dinner with two other for-en-ger (as we're often called, aka foreigner) friends, played cards for a couple hours, and am now getting ready to watch a movie.

i have to admit, i'm extremely prideful. i know. i don't need anyone to tell me - i think about it quite often. but i'm learning that my pride has got to leave. i left team expansion 2 years ago burned out and depressed because of my pride, because i didn't want to admit i couldn't handle everything on my own. this whole kitchen thing (have i said that i'm now known as "the kitchen girl?" disgusting.) has left me never even wanting to be near food (my children will be born self-sufficient and we will only eat food that comes straight from the ground, cooked over an open fire in the middle of a field. they will never even know what a kitchen is.) and also really drained. i don't want to be drained. i want to have energy to hang out with the students (by the way, i have the two best girls - karen amalie and marianne), time to spend quality time with friends, and i want to actually be home once in a while. so, all that to say that i'm learning to cut the pride and say "nei."

blown away

i know i posted a blog just a few days earlier, but that's the great thing about this... i can post all i want!
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i love how God surprises us. i have to admit though, sometimes i keep such a tight rein on my life that God doesn't have the opportunity to surprise me. what i'm about to talk about might raise some eyebrows and you may not even agree with me, but what i'm about to write happened to me, it's personal, and i know in my heart it's truth for me...

i've had a really difficult time lately hearing God's voice and since i work with an organization that is run by the principle that God speaks to us, i've been a bit confused and frustrated. last sunday was a turning point and i really just let loose on God and He answered that very night - and continued answering me last night.
i came to work yesterday and found out that we had a surprise mandatory meeting from 19.30-21.30 that night, which meant i was going to be at work from 8.00-22.00 yet once again. the day was awful - i wasn't able to sit in on the teaching, talk with my students, i even showed up too late to eat dinner, and was yelled at - twice. i also didn't have time to work on my newsletter which is a month a half late. all in all, i was feeling tired, overworked, and quite guilty for not prioritizing as well as i should have.
so, i walk to the meeting, confessing to God all this, telling Him i was open to Him speaking to me. the meeting was a workshop with a man from england, jan nicholls, who was teaching at another school the same week and just wanted to share with us as DTS staff. keep in mind that i've never met this man, but almost as soon as we sat down, jan looked at me and said, "You're Lyndee, right? and you went to Bible college?" "Uh, yes," i replied. i was a bit confused and he said, "i'm quite prophetic." i was scared.
we broke into small groups to discuss different case studies and throughout the next two hours, jan continued to prophesy over me. i just sat there and cried. he told me that God was telling him that i shouldn't feel guilty for not getting my newsletter finished, that i shouldn't feel guilty that i have more money than other missionaries... it continued, deeper and deeper into my heart. God told him things about me that i had only told God, dreams i don't even dare to dream because they are too big.
i know the idea of prophecy is scary to many and ignored by even more. but i know that God can speak to us through it, if only we're open. the purpose of prophecy is to strengthen, encourage, and comfort (1 Corinthians 14) and all those things happened last night.
i want that boldness! i want to be so bold to speak the words God tells me, to have enough confidence in the gifts He's given, to speak His truth into people's lives.
He is an unordinary God and He often speaks in ways that seem way out there, even unbelievable, but if they are truth to a person, we have to listen.