after the longest 2 days of my life, i'm home. seriously, i don't know if i could've been any more tired before leaving and spending the night in the airport, and sitting behind and in front of screaming children (seriously, if your child is screaming for 4 hours, wouldn't you try to do something about it?) for 2 of the 3 flights didn't make anything better. but what did make it better was the non-fat, extra hot gingerbread latte and eggnog latte from starbucks in london and chicago. i was so out of it when i got home. i did stay awake long enough to show my parents the video erlend made for me - "if you're not the one" by daniel bedingfield. i've never heard it played in the states before, but as i was driving up from the driveway this afternoon (had to break the ban on walmart and stock up on big american-sized toiletries), it came on the radio. i began laughing so hard. i actually had quite a difficult time leaving norway - a bit sad, so that song made it a bit better. good memories.

coming home (although i haven't really lived at "home" in almost 7 years) is always nice, although i think it gets a bit more difficult after living away longer. i have my own home in skien, my own friends, my own life. last night i was so confused when i couldn't find the recycling bin (we don't recycle anything here), the toilet seat was lower than the one at my apartment, everyone around me at the airport was large and loud. i went to walmart - which is probably the worst place anyone could go after being away from america for an extended time - and took such a long time just looking and touching everything. everything was so cheap and so large and there was so much to choose from! it's just strange, the life i lead. i don't really have my own life here in the states, yet i'm still a bit of an outsider in norway because i'm not norwegian. it gets tiring at times, going back and forth, trying to understand what's going on around me, who i am in each of these places. welcome to missionary life.

this morning i went to my old high school to talk to the junior and senior high during chapel. i spoke a bit about the dts and then about having an honest, personal relationship to God. even with the norwegian accent and messed up grammar, it went quite well. a couple of the girls talked to me about dts afterwards and one of the staff said what i said was exactly what God has been teaching her. i also talked to my mom's 2nd grade class and answered questions like "how do you say boy in norwegian? how do you count? do you live in a house or one of those 'things'?" (meaning a hut). it was much fun. my mom is so intentional in what she teaches and many of them already have a heart for missions. incredible. tonight it's off to a high school basketball game. now it's time to catch up on sleep.

things i love...

what i love about winter/christmastime in general:
tall, nonfat, extra hot gingerbread lattes with whip
brownies and peppermint ice cream
christmas music (are you up for a little mariah carey, bethany?)
snow!!!
"holiday inn," "white christmas," and a true classic - "national lampoon's christmas"
hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows

what i love about winter/christmastime in norway:
overpriced mochas
large christmas trees in every parking area
live music in the walking streets
snow on the mountains
watching the kids sled
ice skating
the cosy fireplace at the base
advent
glogg and pepperkaker

welcome to my life.

picture of me and karen amalie (one of my students)
the graveyard and mountain outside the state church in flatdal, norway

buns away

just have to share about my last week. i co-led a team to seljord, a small town about 2 hours away from skien last week. i was so nervous and worried before we left, so scatterbrained that i left my phone at home. but man, the week was so good! just a couple of funny stories...

we worked with a pentecostal church and although many of our team was use to that, some things were done a bit... differently. one night we went to different cell groups and later that night met up to share about our experiences. one man in a cell group kept shouting, "the blood, the blood, the blooood!!!" over and over again and the students had such a hard time not laughing. maybe we shouldn't have laughed, but it was quite funny at the time.

one of our tasks was to have an open house at the Jesus House, a house that the church owned and the place we were living. we decided to watch a movie, play games, have a jam session, and have a room where we could just discuss God and spirituality. we went out that afternoon and handed out flyers and had invited students the days before. i spent several hours making bolle (buns) with chocolate inside - i made over 100. at 20.00 we opened the doors for the students and waited... and waited... and waited for people to show up. 3 hours and 1 person showed up. do you know how many buns are sitting in the freezer now? we had quite a laugh on that one as well.

one last story... it was thanksgiving and although it's not my favorite holiday, i love being home at this time of the year. plus, all my friends and cousins are having babies and it would be nice to see them. anyway, i shared with my team that it was thanksgiving on thursday (and for those of you who might be a bit behind on things, thanksgiving is not celebrated in anywhere else but the states) and that we usually eat turkey and pumpkin pie and watch american football in the afternoon (or a nice ncaa basketball game, in my case). i didn't have time to call my family (plus, i forgot my cell phone) and didn't have access to email that day, but didn't think about it too much. that night we went to eat with a woman from the church and what did we have? a turkey dish and pickled pumkin! i felt so blessed to have my own version of thanksgiving in norway. and the great girls on my team also bought me a turkey sausage. =)

confessions of a represser

i always wonder what to write, especially knowing that this blog is read by so many different people. "how much should i share?" "how personal should i be?" i always wonder what people think when reading other's blogs.
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it's been a crazy week. God is teaching me so many things. before i begin though, i must recommend "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. i am re-reading it now. i read it earlier in the summer and loved it so much that i read it as fast as possible. but now i'm reading it again so i can catch everything. it's about regaining femininity - what it means to be a woman, how to express yourself as a woman, how to be treated as a woman. it deals much with the heart, overcoming your past. gosh, it's good. all this to say... God has been healing my heart in different areas and showing me many areas where i still don't give Him total control - areas where fear still rules my decisions. it's a bit scary actually, seeing the decisions i make (or don't make) because fear is so big.
i was talking to my roommate the other day. people tell me "lyndee, you're so strong. you're able to handle so much." sometimes i just want to stick my tongue out at the people who say that. i really don't feel so strong. i've also seen that when people have said that to me, i've allowed myself to think that because people think i'm strong, i'm not allowed to show my weaknesses. i've also let it teach me that i just need to move on from the hurts in my life. that's correct in some sense, but in another, those hurts need to be dealt with before moving on. anyway, i was telling my roommate that sometimes i think that if i cry, it means that i'm dealing with situation. but in reality, i believe that the tears are just the surface of pain. dealing with hurts means that i have to take time and think, feel, process, even talk through things - with God, people, myself. so much to learn! i really want to learn to be honest with myself, with God - learn to share everything i'm feeling.
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on to another topic... after being here (illegally) for almost 3 months, i now have my visa! finally. and a great unexpected bonus - it's a 2 year visa! i was told i could only apply for 1 year at a time, but i threw caution to the wind and applied for 2 years and received it! i saved 800 kroner ($120) by doing that.
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i spoke this weekend at a youth night. i was suppose to share in 3 minutes an instance where i experienced the goodness of Jesus. i know Jesus has been good to me, but to have 3 minutes... that's hard (for me). i was so frustrated as we got to the meeting, think i was also frustrating those with me, because nothing was coming to me. every time i have spoken, God has always given me the words to say. i don't know why i get so stressed. once again, He gave me the words. trust lyndee, trust.
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so there it is... my life in 4 paragraphs.